My boyfriend and I have had this low-grade disagreement for like the last 4 months.
I enjoy being in the house by myself spending time with myself, especially on the weekends to recharge after a week full of working.
He is a farmer and very much enjoys being outside. I think his manual of me is that good girlfriends should have the same hobbies as him and enjoy doing all the same things.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy going outside with him for ranger rides in the woods, going to hang out with his family, etc. It’s just that I need to take time for myself for self coaching, yoga, and other things that recharge me. Before I found Brooke, I very much did not like being with myself and overate and would keep myself busy to avoid being with myself. Now I love it and I love myself and it’s the most luxurious thing I do.
However, my boyfriend sees things differently, it’s a problem for him, and therefore, it’s a problem for me because I feel like I have to change his mind about all of this in order to make myself feel better.
On the one hand, I completely love hanging out with myself. On the other, I feel guilty because I should like doing his activities with him. I also believe that it’s important to have separate hobbies as a couple.
So I recognize it’s my manual of myself as a girlfriend as well to like the things he likes. Am I seeing that correctly? I’m guessing that’s why I’m feeling guilty.
I’m onto myself.
This morning I did a huge thought download of the manual I think he has on me. It was extremely long. Most of it is probably rules I made up in my head throughout the course of dating him for 1.5 years, but now that I’ve uncovered a lot of them I’m not sure what I should do with this list lol.
My plan right now is to go back through it and question whether or not they’re rules I want to keep for myself (regardless of whether he has this manual of me or not), or am I wanting to keep this rule in order to people please him into thinking I’m a great girlfriend following all the rules.
Would love some guidance here. Thanks!