Brain Detox and Shifting Thoughts in "Real Time"

It is my first month in Scholars. As I’m becoming ultra aware of my thoughts and going into my head and trying to declutter my brain, I find that things are getting messier! Almost as if I was purging them out and causing more unwanted feelings. Is this normal? Am I going through a brain detox? Meaning you kind of have to “vomit” all the bad thoughts and before you can nurture your mind with the “nutrients” (good thoughts) you need?
Furthermore, as I’m aware of my thoughts and have the model running in the background, I catch myself in the moment having thoughts and feelings that will have negative results and it seems to frustrate me and feel like I’m not capable of applying myself to the work I’m learning. I can’t shift in the moment even when I’m aware in real time and I have an opportunity to do so. Please help me make sense of all this. Thank you!