I’ve been doing daily TDLs for about a month and a half now, it’s a super great practice. Initially, I was pleasantly surprised that I could fill a page in maybe 10-15 minutes. However, in the past several weeks it’s been taking me much longer, I feel that my brain is in a fog, I keep zoning out. This has been happening to me whenever I attempt to work on any “mind work” – models, TDLs, even putting together my daily food plan. It almost feels like with less buffering, my primitive brain is throwing up this veil of fog as a shield against feeling all the nasty feelings.
When I try to just sit with it, I’m unable to identify or get in touch w/ any actual feelings – it’s not quite a numbness, but just this diffuse foggy state.
Is this a normal step in the process of brain work? (I guess that’s asking if I’m doing something wrong… but I suppose since it’s happening it’s not wrong but just is. 🙂
So, assuming that it’s fine because it is, how can I now work with it? I can’t even conceive of what a model around this would look like… is the C “brain fog” (not neutral); is it “current step in my process”? But then I guess the only
C = current state
T = I don’t like this brain fog, it’s preventing me from moving forward
F = frustrated, like something is wrong
A = struggle, resist it, make myself wrong
R = possibly quit the work, decide it’s not working or is too much effort or I can’t do it
—
C = current state
T = where I am is perfect; keep going through this stage to see what’s on the other side
F = scared (that this stage won’t end, that I’ll quit anyway, that this is too hard for me)
…
Help?