Hi Brooke,

I need your help with how to apply the model with the recent break-up (you have given me some advice before).

C – 1. He broke up with me 2. He has been thinking about it for a while 3. I found out he started to date someone immediately after our our breakup. 4. He told me he will never marry me or have a kid with me. 5. He told me he does not feel connection hence is not happy.
T – How COULD he move on so fast? I am replaced just like that. What’s next, she will move in, he will marry her and have a kid after I have been waiting on this for 4 years…
F – Sad, worthless, betrayed, easily replaceable
A – mad, angry, disappointed in him
R – wishing his new relationship does not work out

The new model:

C – 1. He broke up with me 2. He has been thinking about it for a while 3. I found out he started to date someone immediately after our our breakup
T – EVERYTHING what’s happening is happening for a reason. This is a good thing because he would not give me what I want? The relationship felt off from the beginning?
F – fine, at peace
A – accept that the relationship is over and NOT have resentment
R – MOVE ON and being able to date others at some point

I am still struggling as I am still in denial he started to date someone else (we broke up 3 weeks ago but I finally moved out this weekend). Even though he explained he “checked out” awhile ago and did his “grieving” then, I feel it’s unfair he dropped it at me like this. Also, that while I was heartbroken he is already dating. I WANT to wish him happiness and be with someone who he will be “happy” since as it turns out he was not happy with me. However, I am mad and hurt and “think” he does not hurt at all (since he started to date someone, but I realize it’s my thought and I have no clue how he feels).

How do I get out of this circle of thoughts, wish him the best, look at him as a past and move on so I can still meet someone who will marry me and WANT to have kids with me (to add I just turned 37, so it’s not the youngest age).