Break through?

I think I just had a break through. maybe. …. my family of origin have historically been emotionally cruel. I’ve done a shit load of work on myself and feel pretty clear I love them. … but I don’t want to be around them. and yet I notice I still feel crappy about the whole thing. my thought is something like: I clearly don’t love them enough. I’m a bad person by not being open to them another time. But today I just had this thought. maybe no! maybe the thought I need to work with is something like “I get to love myself even though I don’t want to be around people that ignore me and say cruel things to me.” …. maybe now the person I need love and to let be just as I am is ME. ??? arrrgh!! scared to even ask this, but do you think I’m bullshitting myself?