Breaking the habit of shutting down

Hey Brooke over the past 10 years I’ve had a lot of painful things happen to me (brain tumor, bankruptcy, divorce, back surgery, thyroid surgery, hysterectomy, broken engagement, both parents deaths……..blah, blah, blah) Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am because I’ve overcome these things and gotten back on my feet but I feel like a duck that looks calm on top of the water but under the surface is paddling frantically to stay afloat. I want to stop shutting down. It’s not a conscious thing. I see now that I’m buffering with food and sex. I want to calm my mind. I’d appreciate your suggestions on how to stop the habit of shutting down, get in touch with my real feelings and to calm my mind?