I was totally buffering after work yesterday and know I just wanted to check out, eat what I wanted etc. I tuned in and noticed that eating what I want, drinking what I want, doing ‘fun things’ equates to freedom in my mind and ‘doing what I should/committed to’ feels restrictive and not fun/enjoyable. As I write this, I’m realizing that this is me listening to my primitive brain that wants to seek pleasure, avoid pain and exert as little effort as possible. I’m thinking that I need to get better at allowing urges when I want to eat off protocol and allow the emotions. The emotions can really be intense and overwhelming sometimes though and eating definitely calms them down(in the short term I know).

c: eating off protocol
t: eating on protocol and sticking to my goal is so not fun
f: deprived
a: eat off protocol, drink beer, check and tune out
r: feel bloated and sluggish the next day, gain weight, feel frustrated for staying stuck in the same cycle

c: eating off protocol
t: Eating on protocol and taking care of myself is a gift
f: content
a: get back on protocol, coach myself, be kind and compassionate instead of beating myself up, try again, recommit, be aware and present to allow the urges and learn
r: Stay with the process and plan