Do you have advice for breaking the habit of indulgent feelings?

Let me see if I can start to answer the question for myself, and you can let me know if you think I’m on the right track.

I’ve known for quite a while that “sadness” is an indulgent emotion for me and that it often masks “anger.” I just realized that “anxiety” is another indulgent emotion for me. I’m not certain that it also/often masks “anger” — but that seems reasonable to imagine. I am certainly aware that in my family of origin anger was an unacceptable feeling, and that my difficulty knowing about my anger was a major factor in the downfall of my marriage.

The main thing I’m thinking to do when I notice sadness and anxiety is to do a thought download as quickly as possible. I say that because it’s in thought downloads that anger’s been arising, even though I didn’t realize it was there before I started the download.

Okay, so that is one tactic. Can you suggest others? Can you suggest study-vault curricula and/or podcasts that relate to my question?

Thank you.