Breaking the habit of wanting circumstances to be different

I’ve caught myself in a downward spiral thought loop that can be summed up with the terrible thought:
C: Two emails and texts received yesterday
T: Nothing is as it should be
F: crushed
A: cry, isolate, chastise myself and my results
R: Don’t see the bright side of anything, only the negative

I know that I get to decide if I believe this or not, but with the results of my life right now, this belief feels so true. I know that since I am committed to taking 100% responsibility, this is victim thinking and will not produce anything positive. However, I feel stuck and I am blaming myself for not being anywhere near where I want to be in my life and it’s just reinforcing ‘I am not enough, don’t have what it takes’ etc. Ugh, this is a painful loop.