Breakthrough Pending


Here is one I need help with.
There is a breakthrough pending and I am looking forward to getting to the other side.

The situation is my husband and I. We have a holiday coming up, and are considering bringing our nanny with us to help us with our 2-4 year olds.
The nanny would be with us for more of the week than she normally is and we are considering how to pay her.
I want to create a schedule so we can map out when we would be with kids, and when we would do something together.
I want to do this together so that I can go to the nanny with an idea of what we are thinking so we can discuss schedule.
I want to do this together because I am always left doing the schedule, and I am resentful .
He just looks at me glassy eyed, as if the words “duh” are about to come out of his mouth.
Then I get annoyed and say, “it is always me coming up with the plan.”

C- hubby and me and holiday planning
T – I am always coming up with the plan
F- annoyed
A – get annoyed, make a draft plan, ask him for his ideas, spin a bit in my head about why can’t he ever give his ideas.
feel lonely and alone that he can’t be a partner.
R – I am not looking forward to this holiday

I see two options.
Make the plan I want to make and just tell him… that feels like I am coming from annoyance.
Wait for him to make a plan… that feels like I am coming from resignation.

The other options are tinged with sadness.
Like, if I say I want to feel confident, I can think let’s create a great plan.
I am now the one doing it. I am having fun but still feel alone.
I am still in this place… not of annoyance but of sadness I want a partner who wants to plan with me, not one who just waits for me to plan.

So there is this vicious circle playing out here.
Can you give me some considerations to consider?

Thanks,