Breakup + Attachment + Model

Hello – Here we go……. LOL I don’t know if the back story is relevant, but here it is just incase it helps with my models or for anyone reading as well.

I dated a man for a year long distance. It went serious fast although still he is not ready for monogamy but he says he is working on him, he cares so much for me, we just on different paces, he is not there yet.
Because I wanted to be understanding I chose to stay and keep dating him. Recently I felt drained from loving someone who could not give me the foundations I am looking for in a relationship. I was unhappy without that kind of security that monogamy can bring. I wanted to leave at times but I also wanted him… or what I wanted him to be more than where he was actually at if I’m honest! I have realized that was not fair of me to try and change him while acting like I was being patient. – Thank you LCS for that awareness LOL

We are now broken up (2 weeks), he still wants to say in my life and wants us to work out in the future. I cut off all communication so I can take time to detach and focus on me but I still feel so attached to and focused on the end result I wanted which was US together in monogamy or commitment. How do I let go of that attachment to him? I joined scholars, I’m doing models, and working hard to learn and be curious, and grow. But still feel stuck & don’t know if I’m doing any of this right?!

C – Uncertainty about future with ex
T – Will he ever want to commit to me in the future, or will it be too late and I will have moved on?
F – Fear
A – Overthink, focus on what went wrong, don’t focus on work, blame, hold out hope
R – I don’t even know what result this gets me. Maybe confusion – or the same stuckness I got when I was dating him

C – Uncertainty about future with ex
T – I am becoming the person who accepts life as it is, what is for me is for me.
F – Secure
A – Focus on myself, work, learning, growing, loving freely
R – Forward progress in life

C- Life
T – I am excited to grow and learn how I can show up as my best self in every day life, relationships and in work
F – Optimistic
A – I don’t worry about the past, I allow what is, I do something daily to support myself, I love on others, I accept
R – Forward progress, enjoyment in life,

Are these models clear enough? Any suggestions to help me secure a model to meditate on, assuming that’s what you do with them?