I’ve been bringing the end of a romantic relationship to my coaching sessions and it’s been truly so wonderful to use the model to get through this. The way I am showing up is so much better than any end to a romantic relationship I’ve had before (where I have to turn to anger and believe the person is less than me to be able to move on).

Right now I’m struggling because I have been sitting in indecision about what I want from our future relationship. He would like to remain friends and just take the romantic piece off the table. I want to feel connected, loved, wanted and that I want to believe that those things are still available to me in the world. However, I keep believing that this relationship is the only place where I will feel those feelings because there was so much common ground, intellectual stimulation, spiritual growth and emotionally mature conversations. I recognize that these thoughts do not serve me and my result is limiting myself. Also, I recognize that I really want this person in my life and I am trying to envision what that looks likes based on his terms (his wants). I want to remain connected with him but I need help cleaning up my thinking. In fact, I’m not sure what to think to feel connected, loved, wanted.  I need some help with my models:

C: He says no romantic part of the relationship anymore
T: We can still have our intellectual connection
F: loss
A: ?
R: ?

This thought doesn’t’ seem to make me feel anything except the lack of romantic connection. In a previous post, it was suggested I use love as an option, but I do feel like I’ve been processing my emotions and being kind to myself and him and doing my best to operate from love. So here are the IM I would like help with. Perhaps a figuring out the thought ladder would help? When I work on that, I am not actually generating feelings of abundance or love. I continue to feel loss. Thanks for your insight.

C: He says no romantic part of the relationship anymore
T:
F:
A:
R: I love myself

C: He says no romantic part of the relationship anymore
T:
F:
A:
R: I am connected

C: He says no romantic part of the relationship anymore
T:
F:
A:
R: I am wanted.