Bridge Thoughts


My husband wants to leave me, well he left me as in his eyes, we are now separated 🙁
But I don’t want to separate, I don’t want to lose him. I understand that I can’t control what he wants to do and that I am arguing with reality but I have a hard time of making any sense of it or start looking after myself instead of focusing on what he is doing (or not doing).

In another answer here (also about an end of a relationship) I learned about a “bridge thought” and so I tried the model, first with my unintentional thought and then with a bridge thought but I end up at almost the same F, A, and R. In the other answer it was suggested that I might feel optimistic, hopeful, curious or similar but I don’t.

Unintentional Model
C = Husband says he loves me but wants to separate and leave me
T = This is crazy, he just throws away our love and 15-year marriage and all we built together
F = hopeless, scared, sad, numb, bewildered, confused, hurt, heartbroken, anxious, like a looser, like a failure
A = I buffer by doing nothing, browsing the internet, watching SCS and other videos
R = nothing changes, husband still wants to leave me

IM with Bridge Thought
C = Husband says he loves me but wants to separate and leave me
T = One day, I’ll understand that this is for the best (Bridge Thought)
F = scared, sad, numb, bewildered, confused, hurt, heartbroken, anxious, like a looser, like a failure
A = I buffer by doing nothing, browsing the internet, watching SCS and other videos
R = nothing changes, husband still wants to leave me

Maybe this means I don’t believe the Bridge thought? Or I am not ready for a bridge thought? Or am I just stubbornly negative?

I tried something else too, tried to go ask my future self, that has overcome this crisis and is happy again, how she did it and what she did, but I can’t get to her… Any insight?