Bridge thoughts for mother in law

I’ve been coached multiple times on my judgments of my mother in law. I want to feel loving and supportive of her. As a specific example, she will comment on what I eat. I find myself defensive and in the moment, struggle to recall thoughts that will help me find the feeling of loving.

I have work to do on my judgments of her. I can create many loving thoughts when I’m away from her. When near her, I choose emotional childhood. Ick. I will have many opportunities in the upcoming weeks to practice. Should I practice new/bridge thoughts? Or focus on my challenging my thoughts (ex: why do I think people shouldn’t comment on each others’ food choices?).

On the coaching call, Brooke called attention to how my intentional thoughts are still spinning me into negative emotion. Example:
C-She said did not make a cake for my husbands birthday because I would not want it in my house
Original IT-She comments on everyone’s food choices, not just mine
A-Say nothing
R-No opportunity for appreciation

Brooke made a great suggestion to thank her for the act. Everything in hindsight is 20/20! Moving forward to the next time I’ll see her, I’d like to focus on just allowing her to be her. Do you have a few thoughts I can “borrow?”