Broken Heart Pain

I have a broken heart.  Physically it feels like my heart is so heavy it could fall out of my chest!  I have this heavy chest feeling all the time, 24 hours a day, like an elephant is stepping on me.  I don’t have to think very long on all the reasons why my heart is broken before I start to cry.  The name of this feeling caused by my broken heart is despair.  I have worked so hard to try and make sense of this new physical  condition that I now have.   I’ve been studying self care principles, months before my son died from mental illness and his own broken heart in February of 2018.

I am trying to understand my thoughts, feelings and actions about any of my life’s circumstances and believing that if I somehow could find the right piece of information in this painful time of my life, that I could solve this problem of pain by my gained knowledge and diligence to implement sound behaviors.  But, even when I have “ah ha” moments of understanding human behaviors and sound thought management about them, I can’t ignore that I now have a physical circumstance of pain in my chest, that never seems to go away.

Question:  Have I missed something that you can help me with?