broken up

My most recent relationship ended. I tried to talk with him about clarifying where we were and what I would like – a bit more communication. There are many specifics about words said, but in the end, he said why don’t we take a “gentle pause” by email.

We communicated a bit more by email and then a bit by text and saw each other once before I went on a trip in Nov. We communicated a bit when I returned. He asked if I was back, and I said I was on my way back that day. He asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving.  I responded with my plan.  He said have fun with my friend, and there no more communication until I reached out for his address to send a holiday card. He sent me a holiday picture text.

There is part of me that doesn’t see him as my long-term partner.  There’s another part of me that really liked him, wanted the relationship to progress and was having a fabulous time with him – when I was with him.

Since we are not together anymore, I do not think about it all the time, but it does come up to me over and over: What did I do wrong? Why did/doesn’t he want to be with me? What is wrong with me? Will I ever find someone? Am I doing things to put people off?

I’m now listening to and reading lots of info from dating coaches trying to learn what I could have done differently and how I’m miscommunicating.

I feel discouraged and hurt, and it doesn’t seem like I can move on without knowing what I did to put him off. I have the urge to contact him and ask for an exit interview.