Brother


My family frequently gather for meals almost exclusively at my home. I have the best house for hosting and I enjoy having everyone over. Thru all the years and dinners many of which were provided exclusively by me, my brother has never contributed anything (he’s a 58 year old man). He doesn’t offer to cook or help clean up after. He doesn’t even clear his own dishes. He eats the food, socializes for a bit and gets up and leaves. I’ve never even heard a Thank You. And yes he has been asked to contribute.
For some reason in my family the male children including cousins are never taken to task for their actions. (And several have had lots of trouble in their lives because of it). No one says anything to them about this type of thing. It’s hard for me to be the only one saying anything to him because we are the least close.
Yesterday during our lunch I heard him say twice “I’m finally full. I usually leave here hungry because we’re just eating finger foods”. We’ve hosted meals from casual food to elaborate Thanksgiving dinners. Many ending up being very expensive.
I’ve done a lot of relationship work on my brother. I’ve found much more peace than pre Scholars. We are not alike at all. So I work on accepting him who he is.

C: My brother said “I’m finally leaving here full……..”
T: He provides nothing to the meals yet he complains that they aren’t good enough.
F: Resentment
R: Relationship more distant

Intentional thoughts:
He’s always been this way why do you expect a different result
He’s not going to follow my manual

I’m in the annoyed emotion so those are the best I can come up with right now