My brother has had a gambling addiction since he was 17 years old. He is now 28 years old. Over that time, he has good and bad periods but the main issue is that he lies to my parents and I about how he is going and is very introverted and lacks ability to lean into his vulnerabilities.

I know that he is hurting, I can feel his pain. I also know that he doesn’t feel safe as my parents have placed conditions on him throughout this journey such as ” If you don’t gamble then X will happen” Or “if you gamble again, you will lose your job” using threats and placing conditions.

On the weekend he attempted to take his own life. I live in Australia and they live in Scotland.

This happened less than 24 hours ago and he is already talking about going to work tomorrow and getting back to normality. My parents agree with him and I think he is buffering. I think he is manipulating us to avoid having the hard chat and doing the work required to start feeling his feelings and moving through this.

On top of this, my parents have no clue how to cope and manage and I was referred to as the “rational” one who always knows what to do and say and that they will need my input and support moving forward.

I noted that I can help but I also have my own mental health challenges I am going through and I wanted to create a boundary as I am their son, not their coach or therapist.

I could write forever about this. I don’t even know what I am asking, I feel hopeless being so far away and feel like I need to go home to protect my little brother and to provide some “rational” support and advice.