My mom and my brother are not getting along. I see them each week when I get together with my family. In my brain, I’ve made the situation between them my fault. I should have supported each of them when talking to the other.

C: Brother not talking to mother when she asks him questions.
T: They aren’t getting along and I should have prevented this.
F: Guilty
A: Thinking about all of the things I should and shouldn’t have done that would have helped. Talking too much to distract them from each other. Overeating to avoid the situation.
R: I am not getting along with myself.

I can actually see how I have these same thoughts about my sister and mother who don’t speak. My brain looks for everything that I’ve done wrong with them. I conceptually understand that all of them have their own relationships. There is part of me that believes I should have shown up differently to make the situation better. How I want to show up for them is to allow them to be themselves and to take care of myself. The way I’m showing up now is trying to control how they feel and not being in control of myself … the one person I can control.

C: Brother not talking to mother when she asks him questions.
T: They can figure this out.
F: Trust
A: Staying present for family get together. Listening to my own needs.
R: I figure out what I really need.