Buffering Food, drink, spend

I have a coaching session on Thursday and Hoping to get coached on this here first to be able to go deeper….

I figured out some behaviors of Wanting to go out and have a couple drinks but over drinking instead and then having a bust next day, not doing some of the preferred tasks. Or I go out to eat and spend that money When I really need not to….. Or I don’t eat clean and binge out on junk, feel like shit, and have the energetic repercussions and physical repercussions for days or weeks later.

I did a tdl on it trying to find the thoughts leading to this….

I really want to stop this and get really clear on whats happening here. Cuz if money wasn’t an issue – I’d have plenty of healthy yummy food around so I would need/want/feel compelled to go out unplanned or feel so deprived….
i would be more fulfilled in areas of my life, etc….

How do I journal on this to get clarity….. or do models? Or….. its kinda a jumble in my head….
I’ve known this was going in and thought I was getting a handle on it but then I mess it up somehow – I’m just sick of my own self on this but so unfulfilled in life – I’m in a couple loops I’m not sure how to break out of……