Buffering on purpose?


Ive had times recently when I’ve buffered on purpose. Recent example, I was attending a meeting where wine was available and planned ahead of time I was going to drink a glass. I did not get a second glass, and allowed the desire to have the second one and it did go away. Yay!

However, I’m wondering about choosing to buffer on purpose and why I decide to do that. I remember thinking as I was planning, I don’t want to be fully present for this meeting. It’s going to be in Spanish, I won’t understand half of it. I won’t have a lot to say. So… I’m going to drink and feel fuzzy because I want to feel kind of fuzzy.

Is it ok to choose to feel fuzzy or decide to buffer? Or is there something deeper to look at? I think I may have felt entitled to buffer. Like, I’m an adult I can drink if I want to and I’m going to, dammit. However, if I had been spending the evening at home instead of a dinner meeting, I think I wouldn’t have decided to drink, because I wouldn’t have felt entitled to, or desiring the feeling of fuzziness.