Buffering — Resisting Sexual Urges


First off, the Buffering Coaching call with Katrina Ubell, MD, was fantastic. I learned so much. And thank you so much to the fellow scholars who volunteered to be coached. I admire their courage to be vulnerable and authentic. We all learn so much.

So to my question… I realized that I buffer with sex.
I’m still figuring out why — I’m sensing that it is sometimes out of loneliness and sometimes out of boredom.
But today, the thought that ran across my mind was, “I feel horny.” And I thought, hmmm, that’s interesting. I’m trying to pause and act as a Watcher rather than “react” and go down my usual pathway of calling/texting this guy that I’m trying to get over… (basically, trying to avoid a booty call). There are some days that I feel more horny than others and thought… is it possible that this could just be hormones?

** Is it possible for “horny” to be a feeling? ** Or is that statement a thought?

I’m trying to resist it (which I now understand from the coaching call) that resisting makes the urge even more difficult to resist and then can potentially bring out other negative feelings and thus turn into a mental tailspin.
I’m trying to get over this guy whom I’ve had sexual relations with, and it is so f*$k’n hard! Ugh!

And actually, as I’m writing this, I’m finding that the urge is starting to subside, and I’m able to regain control in terms of resisting contacting this guy.

My next question was going to be — After the first step of awareness of the urge, how can we get over it and find an outlet to an urge such as a sexual urge? … But I think I may have answered my question — one option is to write about it here! Not so sure that would be permanent solution though… ha!

Coach! Your feedback is much appreciated. Thank you all for what you do!!