Buffering with thoughts to avoid anxiety

I had a huge realisation about my thoughts on the weekend. I am struggling to ‘get over’ my ex – I still think of him often, especially when I go to bed at night.

I remember you saying it was best to fantasise about a future that could be mine – the problem is, I feel anxiety when I think about other areas of my life. I am happy with them generally and work hard to build on them, but their future is not something I want to think about when I go to bed. My areas are:

1. My full time job – I enjoy it but don’t want to think about my clients and to do list when I go to bed
2. My coaching business – I love coaching and work hard here, but feel overwhelmed by the future when I dream about it
3. Having children – very exciting but again brings some anxiety about the unknown of that whole situation.

The ex is safe territory – reminiscing about the past with him and speculating about seeing him in the future is relatively pain-free for me. So I guess that’s why I can’t get over it! It doesn’t seem very healthy to me though?