How can you tell the difference between buffering and self-care?

For example, I have a goal to go to school. My job is paying for it and I will get a terminal degree. It’s not fun every moment but it’s not awful every moment either. It stretches me and I start crying because I think it’s hard. It takes 2 years, and I’m starting to believe I would rather do it and see what type of person I become through the process. I feel scared and eager to see what happens.

I’m also doing LCS certification this year. Sometimes, I want to pause school because I’m thinking, “I can always do it later because I don’t want to feel overwhelmed by doing too much.”

Then I think, “What if it’s not too much? What if you’re doing what’s comfortable now to keep you in indecision. What if it’s better to go for it and see what happens instead of thinking about it?”

I think that THINKING is buffering because I want to stop until I THINK it’s just right. Then I do a bunch of journaling, examining, and doubting. The action is DOUBT.

Can you offer me some feedback on my thoughts. Self-care sometimes feels like an excuse to stay comfortable and to do what feels easy in the moment.