Buffering with big goal – Lack of self discipline

I think I have fear of success or I am sabotaging myself. I am trying to stay in Germany, a country I really love. But I am not committing myself to take active action. Time is running out and I don’t know where to find the motivation to actually take action.

I often find myself procrastinating or buffering in order to not learn German, not applying for jobs, or not taking chances/risks or anything that moves me forward.