Buffering with Shopping

I’ve been shopping a lot, to the detriment of my budget. I have $20k in debt that I want to pay off. I wake up in the middle of the night and shop on Amazon. I’m embarrassed and ashamed when packages show up to our house. Part of me really does want to spend the money because I am really enjoying upgrading parts of our house. But it is at odds with my goal to pay off debt.

When I have been overspending, I avoid looking at my budget. I don’t even know the facts of how much money I’ve spent in the last week or two. Shopping has become a lot of what I’m thinking about lately.