buffering with unattainable guy??


I have a male friend (“X”) who lives in another country whom I’m attracted to and I think I am using him or the idea of him as an escape button on my life. I’m married with a child so we will not be getting together anytime soon (I have some issues with my marriage but it’s not so bad that we’d get divorced). But I still daydream about seeing X again in person (and potentially something happening from there), and get irrationally excited everytime we text for hours. COVID seems to have worsened this because I have a lot more time on my hands to think, my husband annoys me when he is at home all the time, and I know that I cannot physically fly over to see X even as a friend.

C: X and I are not together right now.
T: I wish we could have met sooner so we could be together and have the relationship I want to have
F: Yearning for something I can’t have
A: Obsessiveness over him, not present in current relationship, wishing to be ‘saved’ by another person
R: Not living my life / having the relationship I want

I am struggling to figure out an intentional model on this – to continue stop obsessing over the unattainable guy and also to bring the excitement I feel with him to my marriage… but I don’t really know how I can create the same feeling with my husband because there are a few things he does that my husband does not do (ie. he will never text or talk with me for hours)

intentional model…
T: I can create connection with my husband even though he is not the kind of man who will talk to me for hours? OR
T: I don’t need a man to talk to me for hours in order to feel connected with him (but I feel this is a need I am missing from my current relationship! )

Any thoughts?