I would like some help with my coaching around connections (C) and connection (F).

So the place where I am at is:

– My life is fine. I am developing into a newer version of myself, but still I don’t have enough connection, fun, or excitement.
– This is ok. They are legit desires. I want more connection, fun, and excitement.
– I cannot really say how much I really believe my life now is enough and how much I think it has to be different to be ok.
– The best way to create more of these 3 feelings is creating real connections around me. The belief is “If I get to meet people I can relate with, my life would become more fun, exciting.”

What happens is when there are more people around when I walk and see someone who looks interesting or fascinating, for some reason, I fall into this state of mixed curiosity, attraction, missing out, or feeling excluded.

Here are some of my thoughts:

– He/she looks interesting. F: Fascinated.
– I wonder how his/her life look like. F: Curious.
– It is possible that if I share experiences with him/her my life will become richer. F: Missing out.
– They could help make me make available something that I yet do not have. F: Missing out.
– If I interact with him/her my I could find moments of fun and excitement in my life. F: Urge (to interact)
– My life could have potentially become much more fun and exciting if I took my chance and I did not interact. F: Disappointed.
– I am missing opportunities of moving towards a more expanded life.
– These opportunities will never be back. F: Hurry

So overall I have curiosity, but also this strong feeling of missing out. I’ve been at this for years. As you can see, I go into imagining possible future scenarios a lot, and I build expectations of the people I could end up interacting with today.

My actions can be:

– Interact from urge to solve for what I’m missing out on.
– Be very selective with the people I interact with to try to find the ones that can really make my life richer, so that I often don’t interact at all and I regret it.
– Get my daily dose of fun and excitement from YouTube or by eating less mindfully.
– Stay and allow the missing out in my body.
– Do models to pick me up from the missing out.

My results, despite the difference of all these actions, are still more or less the same. I am reproducing schemes over and over, only just slightly changing my patterns.

I know it is a lot of material, where do you think I should dig deeper to get to the core of these mechanisms that do not serve me? Thanks a lot.