My young daughters and I were doing a Peace Out meditation this morning and it was about a bunny that comes up to you (the listener) and the bunny likes you and crawls in your lap and you pet it. Bunny is happy you are happy petting the soft bunny.
So when the meditation teacher said, “the bunny likes you,” I felt as if my mind immediately, without any planning or discussion, said, “no, the bunny does like you.” This was not a nasty “voice” (not hearing voices, I’m just describing the thought). It did not feel or sound harsh or mean, it simply was that my mind/self did not think that the bunny would like me… as if that statement was simply intended for someone else who the bunny might like.

I felt as if I was observing this thought like a C. And at least I noticed it, however then I thought something must be wrong with me to have such a thought. Kind of like, “I’m defective, I don’t even think a bunny would like me.” Or “why am I thinking the bunny wouldn’t like me.” Even though I’m not even sure in my dreamy state that I wasn’t the one uninterested in the bunny. I just did not think the bunny and I had a connection. And a thought of “why wouldn’t I be connected with the cute, soft, little bunny?” Again the something might be wrong with me.
So, if I were to allow myself to put the initial thought as a C, which may be arguable, but interesting enough to try, I get:
C: notice thought “The bunny is not into me.”
T: something must be wrong with me that I do not think the bunny would like me, or that I do not like the bunny
F: bad (I’m trying to figure out more what “bad’ is… self-rejecting? Awkward? Yucky? Hopeless?)
A: try to figure out what could be wrong with me that I would not think a bunny would want to hang out with me. (which is really just ruminating, I suppose) maybe just continuing to tell myself I am defective or something like that.
R: whether or not imagined bunny would want to hang out with me, what I am doing here is defective, self-rejecting, and not helpful.

So, I’m thinking that the next step would be to choose a thought like:
T: that is interesting brain. You offered a thought that the bunny is not interested in me. Maybe bunny is, maybe bunny is not. I’ll still be okay. (I tried “It doesn’t matter” and that wasn’t 100% believable).
F: disconnected
A: move on with my day
R: I am not that attached to the imagined bunny in my brain liking me.

I suppose the other way of modeling this is:
C: teacher suggests the bunny likes me
T: the bunny doesn’t like me
F: sad (distant, unlovable)
A: disengage from the meditation a bit to ponder lack of imagined bunny affection
R: I’m not showing up for the bunny either???

I’m sorry, this seems so silly, reading this about an imagined bunny from the kids meditation. I don’t know if this is a sign I don’t have enough real problems, I’m avoiding my real problems, or something else, but I was bothered/intrigued by this bunny experience…. I felt as if I was getting some rarely seen insight into my brain – it doesn’t even think and imaginary bunny would like me – goodness gracious.
Anyway, I’m wondering if there is more I am missing, or if I’m not drawing the right conclusions here.
I know it seems trivial, but also seemed basic. Like this was so basic brain pattern problem I have.