I have been in scholars for 10 months. However in June I feel like I really started to do the work. I have paid attention every day, several times throughout the day (I’d go as far as to say all day long during the last week).

During the last 6 days I have also lost 3 lbs as I have stuck solidly to my protocol (simply eating “clean” and 3 meals per day, zero snacking and I have started a new workout program which I love (have always enjoyed working out so this genuinely feels fun to me).

Also… I have blown my own mind with how I have responded to my husband rather than react in the moment. I have really focused on feeling and allowing rather than resisting and have been trying on the new thought of “oh an opportunity for growth” and actually looking forward to and kind of appreciating “problems” when they arise.

I have had 2 days of applying this to my business…. but, this seems to be the one area where it is not sticking. I keep having the thought each day that it is more important to do more thought work than spend time on my business.

I believe that deep down my mental health is THE most important thing to me and so I am inclined to justify that thought. But there is also the thought that, in doing my business work, I could also be growing personally (new skills, grit, tenacity, doing hard things, allowing urges etc). I’d like to continue to think this thought and therefore continue to spend time daily on my business.

What I think the question might be is that the goal may have to change – instead of the goal of growing my business by x amount over the summer, I think it needs to be doing x amount of activities daily or x amount of hours daily.

I listened to the podcast on a hard why (#239) and I think my hard why is definitely the person I’ll become through growing my business (self awareness, personal growth, showing myself I can do hard things etc) more than the material gain or anything like that – for now at least.

How can I measure self growth through putting hours in on my business? Maybe the number of urges per day to get up/buffer/do something else etc, that I instead allow? I’m all in for that but I think that it might be more a case of spending more time allowing urges than actually getting work done. But perhaps that’s the step I need to take? Because the alternative is probably giving in to urges and not getting work done anyway (my story so far over the past year).

How can I be honest with myself through this? What would be a good goal/personal growth measurement that I could apply during my work time?

Thank you!! Just loving scholars more with each month.