But How Do We Actually Change?

I’ve been doing a lot of models and downloads and seeing a pattern of being mean to myself, thinking negative thoughts about myself that make me feel bad, indulging in buffering behaviors to distract/avoid these feelings. I realize this is mostly stemming from self-doubt and lack of self worth. Basically it seems like I am creating a lot of my own pain then using food/drugs/alcohol to soothe that pain.

My question is – now that I’ve identified specific thoughts through my models that drive these feelings and actions – how do I stop this? What are my next steps?

How do I actually be nicer to myself now that I have noticed I am being mean? Brooke says that it doesn’t matter WHY, so I feel like I should avoid getting bogged down in the why and instead shift my focus to “how to change this” but the actual HOW is not something I’ve come across yet in my Scholars work.