C: Ate Bread and Popcorn

C: ate bread and popcorn
F: So much anxiety
A: go to bed, take a mild anxiety pill, take a bath, tell my boyfriend how overwhelmed I am, criticize my body, tell myself my thighs are huge, plan to go to the gym in the morning

I’m actually a little confused. I think that I am actually for real having a reaction of anxiety to a blood sugar spike. I don’t think it’s necessarily caused by a thought.

But if I’m really honest, the real problem is I just don’t like my body. No matter what. If I’m thin I think I’m too thin and have no ass. When I workout I criticize my upper body for being too muscular. If the scale goes up I criticize myself for being fat. I’ve never unconditionally loved my body. I have days when I like it. And days when I just feel hopeless and hate it. I’m exhausted, totally exhausted from this.

How the hell can I learn to love my body unconditionally? I have lost weight using stop overeating and protocol but I have no peace around my body. I constantly want to change it. Like literally I want to lose weight, slim down, and also grow my ass. Like, I don’t think bodies work that way.

I have such a headache trying to figure this all out. I’m exhausted and don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know how to be weight neutral and also weigh myself daily like Brooke says to. I don’t know how to like my body no matter what.

I need help.