C: migraine headache
T: this medicine will work better with food
F: desire to eat
A: eat off protocol.
R: I take my medicine with food and it does work
Okay so…truth be told my medicine does work better with food, typically something carby. I don’t know why but it just does. It doesn’t even need to be a lot of food.
Today I didn’t have anything carby so I had a couple egg white things with cream cheese. I feel like there’s something in the egg white things that makes me feel like it’s a carb, so I want to be all snacky with it.
C: ate three egg white wraps with cream cheese
T: I’m disgusting and compulsive
A: I try to change around my protocol so that I don’t feel shame – try to fix it. I feel bad about what I ate. I sneak eat and lie to myself about what I need. I feel like I’m lying to myself about my relationship with food. I want to buffer over shame and I can see that I’m setting myself up for further off protocol eating. I block myself from giving myself what I need.
R: I don’t learn to have my own back and I perpetuate the diet / shame cycle
I would like to move out of this. I ate the stuff compulsively because I told myself I couldn’t have it and I wanted it. I think the real solution here is to realize the truth – my migraine medicine works better with a carb – and allow myself to buy some gluten free paleo crackers or something to store away for when I legitimately need to take a migraine pill. I’ve just about had enough of trying to change the C by not keeping food in the house. Enough. I need a small box of crackers that I can plan in protocol for the once a month I get a migraine that I can have like four crackers with cream cheese, or plain if don’t have cream cheese.
But at the same time, I kind of want to get rid of the egg white wraps. I do eat them kind of compulsively for some reason. But again this is just changing the C.
Open to feedback, thank you so much!!