C: My husband said words


Since learning about the model, I have been practically grateful to experience situations where my thoughts are producing charged negative feelings. It has been enlightening to have the opportunities to do the work in real time rather than just think about it in theory.
I have thoughts about my husband’s actions at times and of course, I have a “manual” for him that has evolved over the 20 years we have been together. One of my thoughts about my husband is “he always has to be right” which produces feelings of frustration. However, I have been able to make peace with that regularly by thinking, “ that is how he is. It is not personal.” However, yesterday we were on a zoom chat with several of my extended family members and at one point he negated what I was saying. Because my family witnessed what makes me crazy about him, my immediate thought was, “he has no respect for me in front of my family.” Of course, this produced intense feelings of embarrassment.
One day later, I am still sitting with the emotion and am allowing myself to feel it all the way through.
My instinct, as always, is to point his actions out to him to let him know how his actions make me feel. This is the way I tend to do it but that does nothing to fix my own thoughts about myself which I know is the point of this work. I am not sure what to do at this point.
How can I get over my “Manual” for him and change my thoughts to empower myself. Thanks!