C: “Nope”


C: landlord says “nope, I don’t want to break the lease”
T: what a power-tripping bitch
F: resentment
A: I feel resentment. I still ask for requirements, I still list the place, but I also drain my energy with anger and worry. I worry about this being difficult, I anticipate problems, I have a lot of pent-up energy and anger toward her. I judge her as being stupid, that she doesn’t speak English, and she’s not smart.
R: I act like a dismissive power-tripping bitch? I certainly put myself on a pedestal above her.

I feel like the word “no” would have been okay, but I don’t like the word nope. To me, nope is dismissive, it’s like a “fuck you”. Nope is just a denial.

C: landlord says “no, I don’t want to break the lease”
T: fine I’ll get a subletter
F: strategic
A: start doing the work to get a subletter, list place, get requirements, I don’t make a drama out of the situation
R: I get a subletter

I guess another thought is “she thinks she’s better than me”, and I can see that the truth is that I think I’m better than her. It feels very true.

I can also see that I’m anticipating the worst-case scenario (this being difficult) with really no evidence to support it. In fact, I’ll be subletting at the best time of year in a very popular area with a good clientele. I’ve found tenants before, so I know I can do it.

I’m a bit concerned this will be a pain in the ass, having to do showings and what not. But maybe it’s not a huge deal. That’s definitely possible. I’m catastrophizing a bit, but perhaps this is another model. I will work on that separately, but for now, do you have any feedback on my current models?

I still feel some resentment even though I can see a better feeling thought that I pretty much believe.

I actually think the thought “she thinks she’s better than me” is the most annoying thought.

C: landlord says “nope, I don’t want to break the lease”
T: she thinks she’s better than me
F: contempt
A: think of ways I’m better than her, judge her harshly, get demanding with her in email, put her down in my mind
R: I think I’m better than her

Where can I take this last model? I just don’t want to feel contempt basically. Do I just have to stay in my feelings of contempt and resentment?

Maybe the thought that “I can feel resentment and contempt and be present with it, while also taking action toward getting my sublet tenant”

So that’s fine but I’m still missing the root.

I think that I want to stop believing that she thinks she’s better than me since that’s what’s driving all my resentment and stuff.

Or how can I allow her to think whatever she wants without it impacting me?

Or maybe the problem is truly that I feel like she’s better than me because she’s the landlord? Maybe this has nothing to do with her?

Maybe I’m judging myself as not being good enough for having a landlord. I used to own my property and really don’t like that I’ve gone back to renting.

I think I’m onto something here.

So how can I hold on to my sense of being “good enough” regardless of what anyone else says or does?

How can I hold my sense of being “good enough” whether I’m a landlord or a tenant?

I think that last question is the root.

And I think that’s my question for the coaches too.

I think the belief might be “whether I’m a landlord or a tenant, I am 100% Worthy and good enough”

I see I don’t fully believe that. I see a hierarchy and feel inferior. How do I move out of this belief??

I can see I am believing my thought is true.

Help!