Caffeine and buffering

I am very torn about my relationship with caffeine. I recently gave it up because it appealed to me at the time. But now I feel myself wanting to revert back. I haven’t reverted back yet because it’s a buffer and I know it. But I feel like I’ve lost who I am without caffeine. Caffeine gave the me drive to pursue my ‘side hustle’/’passion project’. But as soon as I stopped using caffeine, I stopped caring about the things that normally drove me to achieve. I feel like a blob without caffeine. (Granted, I’m still working and working out, so I’m not a total blob. I just feel like it compared to my previous high-achieving ‘normal.’)

Is it worth it for me to give caffeine up? Or is caffeine an acceptable buffer…?