I’ve had an aha moment.
Making judgements about everyone and everything has been my ‘normal’. Something I learned as a child, from my parents. I had a challenging childhood, from parents that were just doing their best, but who were themselves largely stuck in emotional childhood and believed in corporal punishment. I’m so busy in my head making judgements before, during and after conversations that I sometimes don’t follow what is being said or connect with people at a deeper level. I now recognize my brain is offering ‘this is how we stay safe and protected’.
But I now see this doesn’t serve me and keeps me more disconnected. Prior to joining Scholars I felt largely emotionally numb. This work is helping me to connect with my emotions.
My question and the aha moment is:
Could ‘being judgemental’ be seen as an Action?
My brain sees ‘judging’ as Fact and a way of staying safe, but is this actually a Feeling generated from the Thoughts I’m having about x, y and z (person, situation) and a form of buffering – in that my Urge is to judge. When I judge I’m therefore Reacting and not recognizing or allowing whatever emotion is coming up?
The judgement comes up so fast as this is a deeply ingrained Belief and Behaviour – it seems as though it is just who I am.
If this is what’s going on – boom – I’ve unmasked a sneaky lie and Belief system I’ve had forever!
Love these powerful insights, this is tough but rewarding work – thank you Brooke and everyone at The Life Coach School.