Can I put a thought as a result? Manuals and communication


I have a question regarding a manual for my spouse and kids-

C: House not tidy
T: I want my family to work as a team to clean the home
F: frustration/hopeful to make changes
A: have a family meeting to create values we all agree on having a clean and tidy home
R: teamwork to make clean home.

Can I make this a result and create actions to accomplish this or do I have to change my thoughts?

John Gottman has a book on marriage, and in it, he says complaints are OK, but criticisms are not:

“A complaint only addresses the specific action at which your spouse failed. A criticism adds on negative words about your mate’s character or personality.”

Is it OK to have complaints about your spouse, and how should those be communicated using the model and knowing its just a manual I have for others?