Can men and women just be friends:)??


Hey Brooke!

So curious your thoughts. I’m single but have become good friends with a guy at a gym. He has a fiancé but I don’t know her well. He and I workout together or hang out 3-4x week and have a good time. Without me asking he has brought up that he is open with his fiancé about his friendships with other women/workout buddies and that she is okay with it.

I really enjoy our time together and connection as friends and am not attracted to him to in anyway. But I’ve had friends who are skeptical that we can have this friendship. And I think the main reason I have begun to doubt it is because I don’t know her well and the few encounters we’ve had she wasn’t very warm towards me. But it could be her personality or the fact I’m usually wanting her to like me (so she doesn’t think I’m a threat) so I’m acting weird. (Which probably makes me look suspicious, I know)

So currently I’ve remembered I can’t control people’s thoughts. With that I’ve decided I’m not going to go out of my way to make her like me or get to know me. I’m happy to talk to her but not in a forced way.

I’ve also decided I won’t reach out to him to hang out but if he ask me to I will accept because I like our friendship. This feels fine to me because in my mind his relationship and is none of my business. The majority of the time I feel good about how I show up in our friendship. I used him in the homework as well so that really brought clarity.

But I still wonder if Im being disrespectful to his fiancé? should I be the one limiting how often we interact since he’s in a relationship? Or do you agree that it’s up to him and her?

My answer has been no until I had a recent conversation with a friend who wouldn’t be okay with it if it was her husband. Am I twisting the model and these concepts to my advantage?

Thanks!