Can unconditional love be hazardous?


I am (still) processing a breakup and am a pretty kind and forgiving person by nature. I find Brooke’s philosophy of choosing to feel love for everyone, even those that hurt us, easy to apply and believe I did that even before her teaching. I also believe it may be a problem for me in this situation. Is it possible that choosing thoughts that make me feel negative emotion would actually benefit me? Because if I keep feeling love and compassion toward him, I do not get over it. It’s been a year! I know the loving thoughts can’t be just “I love him.” They need to be more like “I love him but I am also walking away,” so those are the ones I practice, but even those are causing me to feel connected to him, so when he calls, I pick up. I think maybe my problem is I need to have negative thoughts that cause negative emotions that will keep me away. Thoughts like “He was awful to you.” “He left you.” “He doesn’t deserve your attention.” “He is using you.” I can see how those wouldn’t appear to serve me, but they actually tend to lead to me not being willing to get sucked into his world again, and more willing to cut him off, move on and take care of myself. It goes against my pretty loving nature, though, and it doesn’t feel aligned with emotional adulthood. Again, my question summarized is: Is it possible that choosing thoughts that make me feel negative emotion would actually benefit me? Thank you! 🙂