Hi Brooke

Firstly I am finding it challenging with this process. It is a process i use with others and have for years, however.. I listened to podcast 198 to the first testimony. I am constantly listening to it. I believe its my turn to unravel something very deep. I, to am a person who loves to be coached and this is scaring me. In October one of my mentors Paul told me that “i was familiar with pain”. I had no idea what he was talking about but inside something did know! i know ones past doesn’t have to equal the future thankfully but heres my struggle

I was abused in all ways as a kid. My attitude is i can’t fix that and I’ve cried for years. what hurt me more was that no care givers wanted to help me or comfort me. I can’t control what they do I can only control my actions. i have no connection with them and thats ok by me. I am going through a divorce and recognise I have always been on the AFFECT side of the equation. So when I heard (jakes wife sorry!) say about a victim mentality i heard accusation to myself and want to ask you, what if I acknowledge I was a victim (as I do) and i could nothing about it and how do I get away from AFFECTS of being victimised? I have done so much work on myself i feel theres something i am not getting. I do have a shitty belief from childhood that i am still trying to break, it is, if I help others they in turn will help me!!! I am stuck and ready to face the fear of this. its stopping my success and i to believe that judgements that use to protect me no longer do. Even if you could point me to resources or tools I could begin to use to help me uncover thoughts which i obviously have surpassed so much I am not aware of it be helpful…. Many Thanks