Hi coaches, pervasive in my models is the comparison with others. I find that any, really any aspect/quality I am genuinely appreciating about another person, deep down, while I am appreciating it my brain is automatically subtracting some value to the same aspect/quality on myself.
On the other side, when (as a good habit I am teaching myself to do) I intentionally I take time to congratulate myself or appreciate myself, be it for the way my hair looks or for how I have accomplished something at work today, that goodness is actually good compared to the “generic value” of people’s hair or work accomplishment.
Now, on one side I would be tempted to go down the way of “what’s wrong with me that I am doing this?”, blaming me as a bad person for doing so, or broken because I have so strongly conditioned my brain over the years without taking a different route… which is not helpful….
…on the other I am really wondering if perhaps this is just an innate mechanism of our human brain. Like our eyes perceive something to be gray only because it is on a scale from black to white, so in a sense every quality we perceive and judge always relates to the context.
So I would like to ask you if you could elaborate a bit on this, if you could perhaps offer me your perspective. For instance if for you, appreciating qualities without comparison is possible, and maybe even easy, and maybe even your standard attitude..
… in other words, before dropping comparisons I need to see how not comparing is actually possible, at the moment my brain has really a hard time envisioning how that is doable… can we REALLY and RADICALLY appreciate the value of things abstracting from all comparisons? Thanks