Can you buffer with people? can I use the urge jar for this?

I recently asked about obsessively checking messages on my phone and the urge jar was recommended, I have since realised there’s a little more to it. It isn’t the social media i am interested in, i am checking if someone (one person in particular) who sporadically messages me has got in touch, 9 times out of 10 they haven’t. but this is what i am checking for. If this person wasn’t on social media i wouldn’t be checking my messages (side note before i met this person i used to obsessively check my emails.)

can i use the urge jar for thoughts, so i think about this person a lot it is an unhealthy relationship, i do not want to think about them anymore but i go off into fantasy land. i feel like i am stuck in a cycle and have been for 2 years. To break the cycle of constant thoughts about this person could i somehow use the urge jar? e.g when a thought about them pops into my head should i allow it- but then isn’t this giving in to the urge?? because my primitive brain wants to think about the person?

maybe im a bit confused on this one! thanks coaches