I was in a project meeting this afternoon, where the project has been delayed several times and did not seem to be moving forward.
I was trying to understand why things were not moving so I asked and had no answers and nobody seemed to be accountable. I expressed the feeling that it was annoying that “people who should know do not know”.
The tension then raised, and everyone was telling that it was not the place to be finger-pointing, my manager included. I tried to explain that I was trying to find solutions to not get back to the same point and I got interrupted.
My manager then asked questions in a very directive way to the project managers and asked for answers.
I talked to my manager later because I believe if I am in a meeting, I should be allowed to express myself, and in fact he was saying the same things that I did before (project managers should have the answers, and he would not take “I do not know” for an answer).
I feel very frustrated, because it is not the first time I am trying to express myself and I am either ignored or interrupted.
My model could be like:
C – Project Go/ No Go meeting; nobody states whether we should go or not; when asked how long will the delay be, I have no answer.
T – The project managers are not playing their role, and they need to answer the questions to get the project moving
A – Express my thought
R – Get interrupted and asked to “Shut up”
Then this is another unintentional model about being interrupted
C – Interrupted when expressing my opinion in the meeting
T – They are acting like I am the aggressive one here, when everyone is thinking the same without saying and it is not making the project moving. We just spent an hour with no results.
A – I keep quiet, and am very upset. I discuss it with my manager, but he does still not hear what I have to say (this is recurrent)
R – Even more frustrated. Try to move on and find ways to guarantee that the project goes on, by assigning one of my team member’s to the project.
The way I feel now, is that I should not have accepted to be interrupted, and I should have been even stronger in stating that I have the right to express my opinion, as I am trying to make the project work and move for the better.
I am not sure whether it would serve me, but I am so tired of this pattern, having to keep quiet or excuse myself for saying the truth…
How can I manage my thoughts in a more constructive way?