Can’t figure this out…


Hi,
So for a long time I’ve had this visceral reaction to my husband and stepson’s relationship. Every time my teenage stepson walks by my husband he gives his dad a hug and says “I love you, dad.” Every single time it brings this horrible feeling all over my body of being irritable. I tried to resist this at first but am now just letting the emotion pass like its washing over me. I can’t figure out where its coming from other than the feeling means that I have resentment and jealousy and also think my stepson is spoiled and coddled.

Now that I’ve written it out it makes sense that I would feel heat all over my body when I think that my stepson is spoiled and coddled. I don’t want to feel that way…. I want to be cool and open to their relationship…. and not make it mean anything about me at all.

Argh…. Will these physical reactions eventually go away? I am trying to feel them and not resist them anymore…. maybe I’m not doing a good job of that…

Thank you.