Can’t get past hurtful things my father has done

I’ve had some problems with some family members. My father is one of them. I find myself keeping him at arms length and holding back love. He has done some things in recent years that I have found hurtful. I want to love him but part of me feels like if I just let it go and love him then I would be letting him off the hook and some how what he has done was ok. Like go ahead and hurt me. I’ll just let you and turn the other cheek. How can I change my perspective on this in a way that allows me to love him, forgive (or make peace with) the past and not allow it to happen again. I have been spinning on this for years. Thank you.