C: relationship with my boyfriend
T: he doesn’t love me anymore
A: think about it all the time and cry, imagine how it is, wishing he already broke up, trying to control his thoughts
R: me anticipating what will happen
He didn’t actually say he didn’t love me but I told him that we fight a lot and that there wasn’t much love.
and he told me yea, and I asked him if he loved me and he just said yea. And I know him. If he truly loved me he would have insisted like he used to.
It breaks my heart.
Imagining that I won’t have his love anymore.
But I know I will handle the breakup. I just want it to be over and not be with him when I know it’s coming slowly. I always think about it. Even at night, I wake up.
So I know I can’t control him. I just want to show up as confident and loving even if I don’t have his love.
I know I’m a good girlfriend and a good catch. I just reminded myself of it.
But when I think the thought “he doesn’t love me anymore” I just can’t help it.
And then I get all creepy and weird. Cause I try to not have him love me less. I know it’s not possible.