Car cleaning perfectionism


I just posted earlier today about cleaning my car and my perfectionism around that. Since that, I have been thinking about why I want to do things perfectly and I ended up figuring out that I have this underlying belief that if I can just do everything perfectly (be the perfect mom, wife, employee and complete every task I attempt to perfection), this feeling of not being enough will go away. Now that I’ve uncovered this belief to look at, I realize what a lie this is! I have spent my whole life trying to be perfect, but it never seemed to be perfect enough. Even if it was perfect, it was never enough to make me feel good enough or worthy. I know I’ve heard you say before that our worthiness doesn’t come from anything external, but I think I didn’t truely believe that until now. As I’m writing this out, it doesn’t even show up in writing how profound it feels that I won’t have to feel unworthy forever. I am having a little trouble jumping straight into I am worthy or I am enough, but my brain isn’t arguing with it like it used to!