Care-giving & Guilt


I left my husband a month ago in order to travel to my mom and be with her while she battles with cancer during coronavirus times.

We both agreed that this is the right and noble choice and I since I came to her I have been trying to find the right balance between taking care of her, as well as the writing projects I was planning to work on before I knew she was sick.

I am the only person with her in the house, since no one from the family can come to visit and everyone else is isolated as well.

I found out that I have two thoughts that cause me shame and guilt:

C= Complete a writing project while being a caregiver.
T= “I want to be able to take care of her AND work on my writing but it will take from time I could spend with her.”
F= Guilt.
A= Put away my writing, sit with mom while she watches her favorite TV shows, find other ways to pass the time, like cleaning the house.
R= I spend most of my time with mom and take good care of her, but not writing is getting done.

C= Complete a writing project while being a caregiver.
T= “There was never a person who wrote a novel while being a full-time caregiver.”
F= Defeated. Shame (for even thinking about myself).
A= Put away my writing, sit with mom while she watches her favorite TV shows, find other ways to pass the time, like cleaning the house.
R= I spend most of my time with mom and take good care of her, but not writing is getting done.

So, where I got to is noticing that I have two unuseful thoughts that give me an unwanted result on one hand (no writing gets done), and a wanted result (I take care of my mom).

I wonder if you could help me how to take it from here, please.