Caring for my husband

I’m feeling overwhelmed since my husband had his stroke and I’ve been his caregiver. He’s quite a bit older than me. So, I’m not sure that it’s overwhelmed I feel. I feel so many things. I’m ashamed to say I feel a lot of self-pity. I hate the way people look at us (him) when we’re out in public. He’s in a wheelchair. I will often give people who stare at us dirty looks and want to tell them to quit looking at us. My family reaches out to help sometimes but I don’t want their pity. I feel protective of him and don’t want them to see him, stare at him, etc. I want their support but I want them to see me as strong and capable too. See? I’m swimming in contradictions and I’d like to find some peace about it – or at least really know what it is I’m feeling. Any suggestions for how I can get to what it is I’m really feeling and how to deal with all this overwhelm in a healthier manner? I feel so stuck. And I think there might be a part of me that kind of wants to feel stuck as a protection so that I have no expectations – at least then I can’t be let down.